Victoria Hash House Harriers Runs - 2018

The 26^th 12 Stops of Christmas Run
Click here for a larger image. I think we need to rename SHIT 'Big SHIT'. He's grown!  I think he's now bigger than his dad.  That was my first impression this year when I arrive at the 12 Stops.  We had to watch our finances this year, so in a bit of fiscal paranoia we asked for $15, and had virgins pay. Then we refunded $5, and charged the rest $10. Then we gave virgins business cards promising that their next regular hash is free. The trail was less confusing.  Like the two VH3 runs that had proceeded it, this 12 Stops was mild, and had a reasonable turnout.  It was also dry, despite an earlier rain that had degraded some of the trail marks, allowing for some minor opportunity for confusion.   We found all the usual stops, except we had to imaging mistletoe at the Hershey Kisses stop (some how is was misplaced), and at the 'Sing to Old Folk' stop hashers actually sung in tune - I am sure that was a first.  The pot-luck was fantastic, and again Newfie 'Elf' did a marvelous job as MC of the annual secret Santa gift exchange.  I received a 1997 beer holder from the Hong Kong Sunset on the Empire Hash - actually I think I stole it - a little bird who donated it told me what it was, and it didn't have enough beer with it to attract other hasher.  In the free-for-all of the secrets Santa game, a bit of intelligence is often useful.

The Annual General Pissup and Run.
Blue Balls and Nut Job set a short, hilly, sunny (they seemed to curry favour with the weather gods), and somewhat predictable run up toward Gonzales Hill, down and around the hill, along Gonzales Bay beach, through the Chinese Cemetery, up over King George Terrace, down to the BC at McNeil Bay beach, and back up Monterey toward the cars, then onto Kitty Lickers home to do religion, and commence the on-afters/AGPU.  It was so predictable that I even got lost on the trail only two blocks from the BC, thinking the BC was at Lafayette Park, and not finding it there (so I guess it was a perfect run).  The AGPU got various people elected, and those not elected I posted on the web site while I waited for the new On Set to send me the real list.  I greatly appreciated an email from Happy Sperm (her name posted as this year's bogus Hash Cash) stating how I had her for awhile (again), until she realized the list was a joke - I am glad my efforts paid off!  We hope to see her and Frogger out in the new year.  The new (genuine) Mismanagement are here.

The 23^rd Goldstream Salmon Run.  I got there  as the hashing rabble headed up Humpback Road, following dots of flour laid at the feet of the ancient Douglas firs that line both sides of the road.  It was a sunny November day, not too cold and not rainy either.  In any case, the climb up the hill towards Mount Wells Park would have warmed anyone.  Some ways up the hill a back check had the hounds finding a trail headed left into the woods, and down to the Sooke Hills Wilderness Trail that skirts the eastern shore of Humpback Reservoir.  At that point a check provided the option for hounds to run south or north. While some headed south,  in the wrong direction (it's not a Mount Well Park run!), I headed back toward Sooke Hills Regional Park hoping to end up in Goldstream park - after all its was advertised as a Salmon run.   It was a good trail with a couple view points at Waugh Creek falls, and later at Goldstream Falls where an eagle-turkey split trail led the 'eagle' hashers down towards the base of the fall to cross the stream in calf-deep water - no disappointment for those warned to bring dry shoes and socks to wear after the run.  A  viewing platform provided a good view for walkers (and turkeys) to watch the eagles try and fail to keep dry!  The BC was at our  traditional spot, among the odiferous rotting carcasses of dead salmon, not far from our start.  We had hot blueberry tea in additions to our regular beverages.  The BC server for religion which carried on unitl the Sun set over the surrounding hills.  We then headed to Ma Millers for on-afters.   This was probably the mildest Goldstream run that I remember in years - my prone-to-get-cold finger stayed warm.   For calling out 'On On' like a fog horn, we named Just Martin, "Foghorn Leghorn", after the Warmer Brothers' Merry Melody character of the same name - first appearing in 1946 in 'Walky Talky Hawky'.  Click the character to see a mix of the best Foghorn Leghorn toons .

A Halloween Ghost Stories run.  I first used some of these stories - compiled from a book Rim Her had provide, along with two first hand accounts for the Duplex Ghost Cat storie, and some archived news accounts regarding the Silent Scream storie - for bike hash CRRAP ride #69 on the 600^th VH3 Run Weekend in 2013. I then re-used some of these, with some additional ghost stories as Dark Side Halloween run number  270.  This year's Halloween hash was actually a last minutes invention when I shelved a totally different run - that became Dark Side run 295.  We had a good turn out, it was a brilliant sunny day, not too cool, and everyone seemed to enjoy the ghost stories.  Pisstifferous was able to get a private room for on-afters at the Bent Mast pub, which has 3 ghosts, and was one of our stops on the the trail.  Click here to see the trial map, and my original ghost stories notes used on the trail.  The hares forgot to purchase cider for those who didn't want beer, so, while on trail Shigella purchased cider.  How she knew we had not none of that remains a weird mystery.

The Gin & Tonic - Corn n' Dogs End of Summer Hash.  It was a glorious summer day.  The run, a bit longer than previous years, took us though Mystic Vale at Uvic, by a wedding on Cadboro Bay beach, and up through Konukson Park to, what is becoming a favourite place for G&Ts at  Phyllis Park lookout. By then my thought were, "its going to be a long on-in back to the start", and then "where's the gin".  The trail was clever enough to keep the walkers and runners close enough that there was no great wait for people at the lookout.  Once back, and we were DWD (done with down-downs), came a great feed. On the summer menu: Silver Rill corn, with butter salt and pepper; grilled hot dogs, and vegan dogs, with wonderful caramelized onions along with all the usual condiments; potato salad (gads of it); coleslaw, and for desert sliced watermelon.  I had to be up at before 6AM to catch a ferry, so left early and was not witness to any unreported shenanigans following dinner.

The Annual Sooke Pothole run and Campout.   This year we had a really low turn-out of regular hashers, with the hares,we had 8 recorded in the roster.  Unlike some previous years the run was warm and sunny, and the water, maybe not as cold as it might have been.  At the starting circle-up in Parking Lot 3, three younger hikers Stroke has encountered earlier enquiring about hiking, asked about where's a good place to swim, and we convince  hashing virgins Just Ben, Zack and Cat to join us on the run, and our potholes swim. Two were visiting from Edmonton, and one, originally from Edmonton, has been living here for a year. They turned out to be FRBs, and enjoyed the run along the  Sooke Flowline, and the swim down the Sooke Pothole's canyon.  Wet Taco had to head home before the on-afters to SBC who missed the run due her  padling in a dragon boat race,  but all those regular hasher who missed this years Sooke Potholes pot luck missed a great one - everything was delicious.   P.S. We have one group shot from Hoopalong Chastity camera, and once I get it I will post it.

The Robespierre run.  The Hare announced this event to, "celebrate the beheading of Maximilien Robespierre on July 28, 1794 with a headless run through south Oak Bay and Gonzales".  This description oddly stirs-up  contemplation - at least for hashers.  Not just a random great even of history.  The one event of July 28 ( from grade school history) that comes most to mind is Austria-Hungary's declaration of war against Serbia catalyzing war among all its allies, all triggered by the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand (and his wife Sofia), heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, by a young Bosnian radical Gavrilo Princip.  In short the beginning of World War 1, July 28, 1914. I suspect that what most appealed to Ice Breaker was the headless part of history, and that of hashers running headless (without thought) through mellow Oak Bay.  That makes more sense, so I am going with that. The run was short.  It was hilly.  It was very pleasant; sunny and warm.  The beer was a new  summer pilsner, by Preemie.  The BC was at Ice Breakers lovely home Pen y Graig - you know it's loved when it's got a name!  Penygraig is welsh for head of the rock.  Which takes us back to the run, that started at the head of the rock, and ran away from it, thus headless, until we returned to it for beer ... out of the can, or poured with a head on it.

When he found us Stoolie's first words were something like, "where the heck were you guys? " -  may be a bit more profane.   He had just finished setting his A to B run, having started late, and he'd been waiting in the tennis courts parking lot.  The website had us starting at the school parking lot, and the hounds were in the nearby shade of the school.  It was a hot and sunny day, may be 29° C.  Stools was having a bad afternoon.  He said, with exasperation, that  "everything that could go wrong did ..." - bit of an exaggeration, as he had set a great trail.    The day before on the Dark Side I was about to offer to help him, but he had Shitbox as co-hare.  Then she was late, and after he had started to set the trail from A, receive a cell phone call from her waiting a B for him. She then suffered an injury, and Stools was left to set the run himself.  It was an ambitious A to B run;  an I-am-still-amazed-that-he-pulled-it-off run.  It had trails I am sure the hash had never been on.  It even had a forest path with angels and gnomes on it.  The BC and religion was held at lovely picturesque and relatively secluded beach, just off of Bench Road, near the mouth of Tsehum Harbour.  The on-afters was the Stone House Pub, walking distance from the BC.  I went through half a bottle of water on the run.  The walker turned up almost perfectly on time with the runners - the walkers and the runner did not cross paths even though they were on the same path, so we never did figure out how that happened.  SBC masterfully showed us how to use The Cuff without getting soaked. even though it was Cock-a-Leeky who was the one actually  charges with it.   got a long down down, through the funnel  and hose, of Preemies newest, and delicious, summer pilsner.  Click here if you want to see a map of the run.

This was billed as an International Asteroid Day run, with a suggestion that hashers, 'Name your favourite asteroid (remember, hemorrhoid is NOT an asteroid), or be punished'.  I believe no such punishments were handed out - the Hash probably couldn't afford to hand out that many beers.  Yeast Infection's run took us on a enjoyable, if not predictable, urban run.  It was sunny, and perfect running weather. The trail led the pack up toward the Cridge Centre, then up Cook Street, then up the backside of Summit Park, and up onto the old reservoir - detecting a theme of 'up' here?  Other than asteroids!  What must go up ... we headed back down the hill, across Hill Side, swinging right along Kings Street to 5th (and the back side of Vancouver Island School of Art), then down a short 2 block jog east along Bay Street to the cross walk leading us, safely, into Yeast's home neighborhood, and the BC in his front yard.  We had religion there. Then sauntered over to Logan's Pub.   All and all a relaxing afternoon ... except for the 'up' bits.

Though refreshingly without an official theme, if there was one this would have been "Jonners and Lakey back from other distractions, before they get distracted again run".  I enjoyed its predictability, and relaxed nature.  A fade north toward Oak Bay avenue, then a tack back to labour our ways up to Gonzalez Observatory, and then another back track to Walbran Park, and a descent to a delightful BC at the beach in McNeil Bay.  I especially enjoyed tossing a stick to watch RCMP, that perpetual water dog lab, fetch it back again, and again, almost never tiring. It was a warm day with no cool breeze on the beach, so we decided to extend our stay, and circled up there, with the pragmatic excuse of not disturbing the neighbours near the Monterey School.

Two older fellers (both with impending birthdays) decided to take the rest of the hounds along with them  'over the hill', i.e. up Mount Douglas.  CJ suggested the location.  Stroke helped plan and scout, and set the trail.  CJ lead the walkers, set the BC, and even provided a selection of beverages at the lookout, ending in at least one empty bottle - there was a rumour circulated that he was leaving town, and needed help reducing the load.  Lots of hashers turned up including visitors from Washington State, and some backsliders - always great to find that the Hash is not entirely forsaken.  Proof perhaps that a good run location and weather are key to participation.  It was a gorgeous day, made better yet for this hare when he could hang back with the the hound who was DFL (nice after setting the trail).  The icing on that cake was to watch a couple FRBs run back to end of the pack after having run onto a devilishly placed 'hook-2' at the top of a rise, just out of sight of a HH.   After the two FRB rushed off to catch up to the pack, that I told the DFL not to worry, because, unknown to those two the pack had to wait for us at a HH placed just beyond the hook - the point only being to make the FRBs run further, rather than to close up the pack.   I also kept some FRBs worried by warned the hounds of a YBF, neglecting to tell the that it didn't exist.We had enough people out that I had to washed 38 down-down cups after the run - I don't remember that many down-downs, but that was the number of dirty cups I ended up with.  The RA had the stuff to make birthday cakes on the Hares heads, but mercifully didn't, as the religion would have run past the Hares' On-after reservation for no less than 20!  Having had a cake made on my head, even when it wasn't my birthday, I can say I am a firm believer in that tradition being optional.

The Hare Raiser said there was going be a Mystery Hare.  In this case that meant whomever volunteered, or was volunteer by the luck of the drawn.  As he had already worked out a trail in his little grey cells, Stroke volunteered. He set a fine trail (5.4 KM), always expecting soon to be caught by Blue Balls, who  arriving late by car with Lovely Lady Bush, encounter the live hare setting his trail midway through the park.  Blue Ball later decide not to run, and was found by the Hare at the BC.  The hare declaring (somewhat exasperatedly), "Aren't you suppose to be behind me!".   Some local mothers called the VicPD about a tall sweaty guy spreading a strange white substance on the ground at a cleverly set Hash Halt near the Courthouse play ground.  Hashers encountering the constables had them call-off their all-points-bulletin, with one constable declaring, "oh, my trainer is a hasher, I know who you guys are!".  Thus narrowly avoiding Stroke, being tackled by the policy  somewhere on Cook or Rockland..  The BC was in Jack the Trippers backyard.  No arrests were made.

This was an sunny urban run response to the last long hash in the wilderness of the highlands.  The week prior had been chilly and rainy, but the sun came out just in time for this Saturday's run, and we had ideal running weather.  The hares warned us of a VP to stop at for a treat, and not to expect to be on trail on any number of on-ons (not 3, or 4, or 5 - tennis ball dots).  The disadvantage being that you called 'on on' only once you hit any trail mark that wasn't a check back.  The FRB could run some distance in silence,  thus leaving lazier hounds waiting longer than usual at the checks, or until one of the Hares pointed them in the right direction.  This became a relaxed run.  The VP was at Summit Park, and their the Hares fed the hounds a sweet apple version of Crown Royal.  Wet Taco received as a gift, and wanted to get rid of it.  I though it would be good on vanilla ice cream with apple pie.  After that we lost our RA-stand-in Stoolie Andrews, who missed a Hash Halt, and had some of us worried (slightly).  We had a visiting Nanaimo hasher, Oh Enema, and two virgins, Just Mike (Oh Enema made him cum, or, is 'working on that' according to him); and Muzzled Meat's friend Just Angela (a born hasher).  Just Angela,  forgetting Stoolies name, called him 'hay, shit box', or some thing to that effect, and Stoolie in response conducted a 'temporary naming' of Just Angela to "Shitbox".  The temporary measure of the name was perhaps a reassurance to the recipient that, if she doesn't like the name, or Blue Balls (our RA) finds a better name, she can perhaps get rename at a later date.

I missed this run.  I actually thought this was going to be a rare hash that wasn't going to happen.  By 10AM Saturday morning I was leaving home to catch a flight to San Jose, and I had no idea where the run was going to start, let alone who was setting it.  So much for the Web Master being all knowing!   In the end Stoolie (our Hare Raiser), who, I was sure would be the last person to use 'the facebook' as a singular means of communications, did indeed post his run to those who happen to use Facebook.  Those of us who don't use that confounded thing, or had recently decide not to use it (including the Web Master), had to hope someone else would share the detail via some other means.  I was told the run was very long, and only 3 hashers actual made it to the on-afters - I believe everyone survived.  Perhaps its length was to punish the hounds for not having provide the Hare Raiser a Hare, or perhaps (and I'd like this one) it was a penalty for those who use Facebook.  The later may be a little harsh, because isn't that like kicking an addict,  rather than helping and addict kick a habit?  Eight days after the run I was informed that Just Sarah was named "Brewnose".  There are no photos of the naming, but their are photos of Circle Jerk drinking beer out of his shoes, and of slugs eating on on.  Interesting photographic priorities.

The day was cool, and the run started by following a rain cell that pattered on our heads.  We soon ran back into the sun, or the sun ran into us.  The trail was well marked - the hares had to re-do many marks that residence removed.  Marks needed a bit of interpretation - our Hares had forgotten to use back-check marks, so check-backs (Xs) played double duty.  A Sidney resident told one of our hares that what she, and her young boys, were doing, setting dots of flour for a running trail, was strange. Whether 'strange', or 'odd', something strange is new, so something new is strange.  The Hash enlighten Sidney.  The oddest thing the Hash discovered was the propensity of some Sidney residence to cover up our flour marks with potting soil.  We have never seen that before.  Future instruction on trail marks in Sidney will have to include the possibility that the elves of Sidney will make our trail marks less likely to be washed away by a squall.

Stroke's 300th run, and VH3 Spring Forward run (Click to see map).  It was the last of the winter's 2:30PM start times, as daylight saving time springs forward our start times to 3:30PM until the fall.  Stroke has been running with the hash 13½ years.  His first VH3 run, 365, was a 2004 Halloween run, but his first run was October 15th, Dark Side 121, hared by Stoolie Andrews and Hot Nuts - blame CUS for making Stroke come to the Dark Side.  On that first Dark Side Stroke followed Bushsquater, and was lost on his first run (never saw the BC).  As Stroke learned not to follow Bushsquater, others learned never follow Stroke.  Could it be that they he and Bushsquater just shared the same sense of adventure?  On this run the day was sunny, and the ground muddy.  It was (almost) on the anniversary of the first run Stroke set with Stoolie Andrews (run 374 February 23, 2005), which Stroke accidentally shortened from Stoolie's originally planned run, thus earning him the Wankers Shirt.  It was his hope to actually set this run following Stoolie original planned run, and Stoolie never showed, so ...  DS was our only walker, and was entrusted with the backpack of 12 year old scotch (just a tad younger than his hashing experience), and to stop and wait for the runners at the Hash Halt, with 'DS' next to it.  He didn't, but he did find the BC first.  We found him, and all was well.  In my mind there is some amusingly irony that Stroke lost his scotch, but the scotch got to the BC first.  On after's was at Six Mile Pub, where we were later joined by Jack Off.

The Estonian Independence Day Hash.   Perhaps this dedication to Estonia simply reflect some desperation to find something historically significant to this day in history.  Not to mention something amusing.  I did point out that on the same date in 1582 Pope Gregory XIII, had given us our current calendar (and , of course, something hashers love, April Fools Day).  I even  sent Yeast a link to this video (Dave Gorman's 'Why We Should Reform The Calendar - 13 Months Instead of 12'), but Yeast decided that the Estonian Independence was funnier.  I sadly missed the run (thus this comment is more an attempt to fill empty memories), but I made it to on-after's at Logan's Pub.  The owners are hashers, so we'll likely be there more often in the future.  The day was brilliantly sunny, but colder then normal for February, and I heard no rumours of mishaps or namings during the hash.

A Uvic and environs run.  We were warned of shiggy, but the Hares plans of another subterranean adventure (reprising run 677 in a similar way), was washed away by high water level in the culverts.  A change of clothes warning was downgraded to a potential for a change of shoes and sox.  My experience was getting to the run thinking I would be taking it easy on account of a iffy knew, then having to catch up, unfortunately, with runners hanging out at the top of Mount Tolmie where there was a YBF!  They heard me coming.  Hasher are sometimes mischievous.  The Hares are very familiar with the grounds of Uvic, so they claimed that finding ample mud, water, and bush for hounds to wander through was a minor effort. The Fortunately the weather was relatively mild and not rainy. We did have an surprise stop for delicious Piña Colada shooters.   In my opinion that made up for the shiggy.

The annual Robbie Burns birthday party run, with a scotch and shortbread BC, bag pipes, ode to the haggis by Jack Off, and pot-luck Robbie Burns dinner with haggis, neeps & tatties, prepped and cooked by Jack Off while the hounds were on trail .  The Hare(s) did an excellent job setting an interesting trail. The rain had eroded the trail marks, but no one got lost.  The BC was never actually reached by the Hounds on account of the beer being parked at the 'scotch and shortbreads' stop.  Actually that wasn't a scotch stop, but, even better, a Canadian Rusty Nail (made with Drambui and Crown Royal Canadian whisky) stop.  The 'scotch stop' became the BC.  The day was sunny, if a bit breezy, and not too cold, and there was a great turnout.

Puss n'Boots' Neighbourhood Run.  I missed this run, but the hasher on the following Dark Side commented that it was a very good run.  Good trail mark, and the right length.  Obviously years of hashing played a part in setting a good trail.  Hope to see another trail set by Puss, so I can get a chance to run a 'Boots' trail.

While the rest of the country was freezing their body parts off,  this was one of the mildest New Year's day runs we have ever had.  Muck Sucker set the trail himself.  At the start the Hare seemed to forget all the names of hashmarks, so I am going to use some hashing terms here, with hyperlinks to their meaning, just for the Hare -  who has agreed to set another trail later in the year to reinforce his memory of trail marks.  I think he even forgot that those 'blobs of flour' are called on-ons.  It was a lazy trail, with only one back Check, and only a few check backs, and the runners had to wait at each check for the walkers.  It was indeed a masterful use of  an A to B run.  The trail even crossed itself, and no one even notice - or I didn't.  Even through it was lazy it was good exercise as the hounds had a number of stairs and hills to run up.  The hare forgot to mark a Hash Halt, so he had the hounds remember to stop at 'the bridge for a treat', but they ended up missing a Back Check (because there wasn't one), and ended up at said bridge well before treat time.  That was on Charlie's Trails, named after Charlie Johnson, a family friend and forester.  I have permission from Sue Johnson to post a photo of her and Charley in front of a waterfall Charley had just build outside his home (July 07) .  Charley pasted December 29th, 2007 .  At the bridge we had a chocolate almonds and an approriate beverage.  The BC was near the Penis Tree (now almost a tradition).  At the circle a call for hares had Homer agreed to set the next Dark Side, and finally we have Puss'n Boots setting the next run - his first haring.  On-afters had a wonderful pot-luck with Mucks room mate Vern and his hound Ben, a hot tub, and at least 3 rounds of that great Canadian game Crokinole - thanks to Deep Shit we actually remembered the rules.    On On