Victoria Hash House Harriers Runs - 2017

The 12 Stops of Christmas Silver (25^th year) Anniversary
Whoremoan emailed me to add to the web site that, in addition to the usual pot-luck dinner, and chance to re-gift that pussy-in-a-can you got last year (or may be not) at the gift exchange, that "It's going to be a beauty!" with extra treats, extra drinks, and special prizes.  It was pretty good.  The weather behaved itself (not even that cold), and we got to polish off 2 bottles of flavoured Tequila, and part of another bottle of strong white Tequila donated by a prominent politicians.  We even lost Swollen Bag.  He started off with the group, but never made it to the end.  Apparently his sunglasses were dropped somewhere on the trail, and I suppose he was too proud to ask hashers for help.  We hope to see him out again so we can get the full story of the missing hare.  Swollen Bag is one of those Victoria hashers who goes back to 'before recorded time', and was named because he only cums to the hash once a year, to the 12 Stops.  Our first recorded history of his cumming was in 1994 to help set that year's 12 Stops.

The Annual General Pissup.  We had a new AGPU method of election using  Hunter Bears Damsels, rather than using run-off voting, or transferable votes - think of Hunter Bear Ninja, and you got it (if not, Google it).  These things happen when growlers of beer are involved. The weather was mild, for this time of year, and mercifully not wet.  The run wandered through Fernwood and South Jubilee, threating to cross over the tweed curtain, but not actually crossing Foul Bay road. The BC was near the banks of Bowker Creek. Trail marks were good, but false trail marks in grass led to some confusion.   Some Bitchy C had onion soup, growlers, and later pizza was delivered (while elections were underway).  To the best of my recollection this is what was elected.

It was a Goldilocks day for a Goldstream hash, and the first dry one in recent history.  The hare laid trail on virgin territory - the Sooke Hills Wilderness trail, which had open last summer.  Cock-a-Leeky may have started a new tradition by bringing a large bag of Maynard's Swedish Fish which was eagerly ravished at the BC.  Lovely Lady Bush's 4-legged companion Just Josie was finally able to run most of the trail rather than being carried.  For her unusual posterior, which was the only thing visible when she was on the grey gravel trails, Just Josie was named "Peach Pit".

The annual Guy Fawkes' / Bonfire Night  Run. I didn't go on the run, but understand that the BC was at Jonners and Lakey's new home, deep within Fairfield/Gonzales (4-blocks- from-Oak-Bay deep).  All I know is Stoolie Andrew got lost between the washrooms at Pemberton Park, and the finish, which was after the BC (I suppose a BC can do that to you).  If you have no idea of who Guy Fawkes was, watch the video in the link under the Fawkes' 13 thumbnail.  The next CRRAP BHash, around Christmas, was to start from Jonners and Lakey's, and so far, given the weather, and business etc., all we know is that one day there will be a CRRAP.

I have never had to set a run in the rain.  I have scouted trails in the rain.  I have run in the rain (sleet, snow, wind, heat), but never set a trail in the rain - why inflict that on hashers.  So when I bumped into Yeast the evening before the run, and he asked me to name the run the  'Wet-side' Run, I knew there was no way I could miss that run, because at that point I kind of felt sorry for him.  It was a damp run, but I have seen rainier runs. and I am getting use to these 'Edmonton Hash Rules', where you don't count dots before you're on trail.  Something he like to do.  It turned out though, that on this run, if you found a dot of flour, you were likely on trail until you hit  back check - or I was, because I never saw a check back.  I developed an idea where the BC was, but I still found the 'YBF'.  After that the candidates were Alexander Park,  Victor School, or Some Bitchy C's home (also on Victor Street). I saw SBC sort cutting to her place.  She  had hot onion soup for everyone, the beer, and we had religion in her living room.  The run was excellent. This year Yeast has set 3 run.  Not the most - Stoolie has set 4 - but really good!

Stroke's Oak Tree and Gonzales Hill Run.  A last minute run, basically mapping out a random run made later the previous Sunday afternoon to ensure there was at least a run for hasher on the weekend - with folks busy at the InterAm, with Thanks Giving, and another local 'event', no other hares came forward.  It was a very relaxed run.  At first two showed up at 3:30, then another at 3:40, and by 3:50 we figured all who were going to turn up had.  Intros were skipped.  Stroke was Hashcash, Hashflash, RA, Hareraiser (got a hare for the next run), and someone suggested he be Haberdasher (I am not sure why).  Stoolie took over RAship at religion (the Hare shouldn't punish himself).  It was sunny!  It had been rainy the day before.  The run followed the swath of giant oaks that are found along the Victoria and Oak Bay boarder, so the path wandered a bit.  Due to the lack of predicable straight lines, Pisstiferous commented that it was the best Oak Bay run he had been on - and maybe also because I got a good photo of Cougarbate.  Kitty Licker, was so late that he auto-hashed  to catch us (a first maybe for him) .  The BC and religion were on Gonzales Hill, just out of the breeze, where a couple bags of donated  Cheezies were scoffed down, and beverages consumed.   Eleven hashers made it to the on-after at Christies Pub, where Jack Off joined us.  Last I saw he was dancing to a live band.

The 20th Annual Red Dress Run

Our charity this year was a local charity called HeadWay Victoria Epilepsy and Parkinson's Centre . This is in honor of our long time Hasher Digger.  Five hundred dollars was rasied.   Digger has contributed a lot to our kennels as a member of Mismanagement and as well as a Beermeister both independently and as a part of 4 Mile Brewery .  It was a smaller event this year than in the past, but we still attracted visitors, and it was a very sunny day.  There were various stops on route, travelling through the Inner-Harbour, a wander through The Fairmont Empress Hotel , a Jello shooter stop near the docks, and a Phillips Blue Buck sampler stop at the Sticky Wicket Pub.  The BC was eventually found at Frogger and Happy Sperm's backyard, where we toasted a recently passed K9VH3 member.  On After were at the James Bay Inn Pub.

Salt Spring Hash Weekend 'glampout' and run.  A non traditional event on a non traditional island.  Hasher got to stay in Shigella's "spare house", which was a good thing, given that the weekend started off with a steady down pour.  The hare took us on virgin hashing territory!  Speaking of virgins, Just Vinnie attended his inaugural hash.  There were a couple of visitors from a far:  Mary Tyler Whore from a Bay-area kennel, and former VH3 Dead Woody, who now resides in Atlanta.  For catching a dollop of foamy head on the noggin after a brew-ski down-down,  Just Geoffrey is named "Cumover".

Boomerang's Birthday Run
A fine run that was made fine by it being a sunny warm day, the hares giving up on setting a long run, and the customary Whyte & Mackay scotch stop, ... oh, and it being Boomerang's  Birthday.  The trail ingeniously meandered through Ten Mile Point to a lookout where we took a break for  a toast to Boomer, and to linger and enjoy the sea view.  Then we headed back to Cadboro bay finding the BC at the entrance to Mystic Vale.  It took a while for the walkers to catch the runners - there were no real short-cuts.  Rather than disturb the beach goers at Gyro Park, down-down were held at the BC.

A perfect run.  A perfect length.  Well marked.  Well swept - no one got lost. It took advantage of Summit Hill so we had views, and a short bit o bush to wander through.  Our only disappointment was their neighbor, who works for Phillips Brewery, wasn't in-on the run and couldn't supply a keg!  The BC was predictably at Yeast's home, but that was fine as we now know we need them to recruit their neighbor
 

This years annual Sooke Pot holes run, potluck, and campout was one of the warmer ones that I can remember.  Normally when we get out of the water someone is cold, but this year it seemed warmer, and there were no one shivering.  In my view  this was the premier campout experience of the year.  After a slow start getting hashers 'organized' (not unexpected).  Stoolie's trail returned us to running along the top of the Flowline, but in a different location than before, and over a trestle, back through the campsite, plunging into the cool waters of the Sooke River, and out at at a familiar location  to change to dry cloths, eat snack, and drink the customary beverages.  Religion was back at the campsite, and the pot luck followed, with a relaxing evening lounging around  a clever replica of a camp fire.

SBC works in the neighborhood of where this run started.  It took as through trails that the Hash has never used before.  Again underscoring one of the principle reason to come out to the hash, it fulfills mans' primal desire to explore his environment.  I know, 'what kind of bull patty is that?'   Anyway, I think it's wonderful to get a chance to discover places in a comfortable distance from familiar watering holes.  Out there in the Saanich woods we also had Cuntjungle.  That's not some new slang for something you have in the woods ... or with wood -, and said I had a charming accent (well that's how it came across to me).  Cuntjungle was a visitor from the Burlington HHH (Vermont).  Cuntjungle is a linguist.  For part of the time she was out in front with me, so one could say she was very smart; almost cunning.

The VH3 700th and HHHappy Canada’s 150th run.  There was a once in hash-time 11AM start to coincide with the start of runs in kennels all across Canada celebrating Canada's 150^th birthday.  We had 37 hashers, including some from south of the border, come to celebrate.  There were a 150^th Canada Birthday 'hashing' commemorative shirts, for those who wanted them, with the names of Canadian kennels from across Canada.  The hares did an excellent job of wrangling this event into such good shape. There was even a " Oh Canada, Our Home and Hashing Land " song!  The start included a Canadian liquid treat to get hasher ready for a run of  provincial trivia pursuits - like a warm version of the 12 Stops of Christmas.  My favorite challenge was those who were from Newfoundland and Labrador, or had been there, or want to visit it (badly) kissing a cod, and pounding back some Screech .  After that stop hashers ran what we called a 'Newfie loop', were the runners ended up following trail right back to where they started from.  Little Canadian flags, and some not so little Canadian flags, flew (or fluttered) during the run.  Often saluted by honks from passing cars.  On-afters was in Double Humps backyard, and was a successful pot luck with many Canadian delights. It including two namings:  Just Kathleen was named "Silentbutdeadly" (maybe she has a deadly 'but'?), and we had a rare virgin naming of "Scissor Sister", with some allusion to her long athletic  legs.

The annual gin and tonic run, and 'Thai food dinner'.  It was a drizzly day.  A Junuary day.  Not warm, but ok for running.  The trail was clever and devious, if not a bit confusing at times.  It was however very civilized - Blue Balls would have had use running through Bowker Creek culverts rather than beside them.   Testi injured her toe, and so hobbled stoically along with the walkers.  Pussy Whipped Blue Buck, worried that he couldn't keep up with the 'gazelles', recruited Cock-a-Leeky to sweep.  I am not sure she knew where the trail went, but no one really got lost.  Well, not for long.  There was a good turnout so gin and tonics were smaller than in the past, but very good, with lime wedges and all.  Everyone found the BC, despite a bit of confusion where some of the FRBs, especially Blue Balls, fallowed Stroke Alone right past it - forgetting the warning 'never follow Stroke'.  Religion was at the BC, where a tree provided convenient shelter from a light shower.  There were about 16 for dinner, and the Hares had discovered, at the last minute, that their chosen Thai restaurant did not take reservation or could even seat 16, so on-afters was at Le Pho Vietnamese Restaurant just across the road. There we could watch for hashers who didn't know of the change of venue.  Not Thai, but the food was very good.

It was sunny warm day.  Bushsquatter and Cliffbanger from Hasting Hash joined us.  Long establish members of the VH3 we still regard them as members, but just get them tipsy we treat them as visitors.  The run was confused.  At one point Turd thought his co-hare was lost, as it appears that Yeast Infection got easily turned around while setting trail beyond his own neighbourhood, and Turd made up for it as best he could  'live haring' a couple parts of the run.  Add to the confusion Turd's habit of deviousness gave the FRB a good run.  Fortunately no one stayed loss for long. All eventually made it to the BC, on, of course, 'our bridge', over the Colquitz at Ker Ave. used on Turd's annual Dark Side Xmas run (should have seen that coming!).  We had a great on-afters meal at the 4 Mile Pub.

A warm, sunny, civilized, Fernwood and Rockland run.  No one got lost, the runners and the walkers all got to the BC at the same time, and there were Cheezies. On the Next Hash web page Stroke put up a photo of a large piece of Graffiti found at 2015 Stanley Ave, with a promise to reward a chocolate bar and 'something else' (which were two cans of Graffiti IPA by Parkside Brewery) to the first hasher to find the wall on the run.  Sadly no one noticed the caption, remembered, or claimed the prize.  It was Stroke and Circle Jerk's (of Ottawa hash) birthday, so both had cakes on there head, and Stoke named 'Wanker of the Week' for setting a trail on his birthday.  Stroke thinks his next strategy might be to avoid hashing on his birthday.

A very civilized run of miss-direction; the weather, the start, the trail makings, and an evil hare.  Some hounds following the direction on the website gathered on one side of Windsor Park, and the Hares on the other.  The warm sun duped some runners to wear light clothing, then showers came making them cold .  Trail marking promised true trail where 'X' marked them false.  Double Hump told a few hounds the true trail was 'not to the left', when it was, sending them down a dead-end road to a YBF.  Despite these challenges the run was relatively civilized, and there was awesome tequila stop with a view of the bay.  For her constant charging of other hashers relating to major fashion don'ts, Just Brittany is named "HashHoNista".

Another run deep into Metchosin.  This one explored the woods, camas, and moss covers hills cut through by the Galloping Goose Trial above Pedder Bay.  Boomerang had a sore ankle, so he was using a mountain bike to sweep the runners' trail. Hooter Shooter went with the walkers.  The runners first followed the Goose west, but as the hare was on a bike, sparing us heading up into the hills, and doubled back along Matheson Lake Road, crossing over Rocky Point Road, and strait on up the trail toward Pedder Bay.  Eventually the many-back-checked route found us on the The Barde-Knockie Trail headed up to the a hash-halt and view point at the Lester B. Pearson International College Observatory.  From there it was a short jog down Milky Way Road, then a short trail to a BC, just off the Pearson College Trail.  On-in was back to the Goose, and just over 2KM to the cars.  Some Bitch C, doing the walkers trail on account of recent eye surgery, says her technology recorded 8 KM. It was long, but very enjoyable.  Just Amber's was caught stoking a sappy tree, and so was naming "Sticky Wicked"

SBC's Century run.  This was a civilized 6+ KM run with a trail cutting across neighborhoods of North Jubilee, Lands Down, and Oaklands.  The circle and down-downs were in  Oaklands Green.  It had a number of SBC back checks - which SBC called a Shanghai BC, but their marks look like this, so I believe they were just more devious.  We had a good turnout, including visiting hashers from the Edmonton H3, Eunuch Psycho and Dingaling.  Eunuch Pyscho's first visit was probably on run 468 (2008), whereas I believe this was Dingaling's first visit (unless someone remembers otherwise).  We had  a number of happy short-legged K9s, all spared the cold water and mud of the run at Elk Lake and Uplands Park.  Cock-a-Leeky presented a beer stein, (or very large coffee mug), with photos of SBC from various hashes.  Stroke provided a collection of photos expecting only one or two to be used, but the place doing the work were able to fit a number of photos on the mug.

A Hilly springing weather run behind Durrance Lake. Devious trail markings and deceptive hares kept the runners in tempo with the walkers .   There was a tequila shot in addition to beer check. For luring the septuagenarian SMCAF on the walking trail Just Tracey is named "Geri Bait".

It drizzled.  Lots of ankle deep mud.  Great run set in a tight bushy damp area.  Double Hump found his lost car key, but he found them after the Hash stayed to help search.

This was another shiggiful Uplands Park 'Wild' Hare Run, and no one caught the hare!  It was well engineered; checks with 0, 1, 2, and 3 dots in them all having meaning; 1 = runners, 2 = walkers, 3= both, and the 0 dots meant the Hare was undecided at the point he made the check.  Runners were slow!  There were no dry feet following this run so maybe runners were hopelessly trying to keep their feet dry (despite the warnings), or trying not to get scratch on brambles and bushes.  It was also probably one of the shortest runs, in distance if not time (slogging through shiggy takes time).  There was a midway Kraken Rum stop - good choice as its inky blackness was the colour of the mud.  That stop was within 200 meters of the BC (as the mud flies). The walkers (i was one of those on a count of pesky bronchitis)  found the Kraken stop and the BC before the runners.  Despite short distances the walkers oddly seldom saw the runners, though we did hear them, like an "oh fu@#$ its" roared, from Boomerang somewhere off in the distant bushes.   At one point the Hare ran upon us, spun in a circled about 4 times, probably trying to get his bearings, but not unlike a dog before taking I crap, set a runners check, and headed off running through ankle deep water and inky black mud.  The walker struggled though bushes along the sides of the trail.  At the end the Hare found the walkers at the NBC, and a short distance in the wrong direction, until it was pointed out to him the path we were on was too dry, and the wettest path was likely the correct way to go, and it was, so the Hare had lost his own trail.  The runners were not far behind, using the walking trail, short-cutting the runners trail from the NBC to the BC.  At the BC we had the circle and "Shigella" was named, hopefully for what she said, as to what else the reason could be is far from my imagination. (Shigella being a genus of bacteria closely related to Salmonella.

Rather than a Valentine's Day run, this was a memorial run of the 75th Anniversary of Gispert's Death at the Battle of Singapore (we'll let the Dog Hash celebrate love).  With scattered clouds, the occasional shower, and with almost all the snow melted, the trail was more than damp. One of the first things the hares said was, 'I hope everyone brought a second pair of dry socks' - a late email or social media warning that not all hashers got, along with a plea for the missing beer cooler and beer.  Fortunately Stoolie got a cooler of beer, and, if some care was taken, I suspect runners could have avoided soaked feet.  Stoolie cleverly had avoided the more drowned parts of Panama Flats. Some  familiarity with the area of Strawberry Vale and Panama Flats was helpful to some runners, though at one point, so sure the rabble new where they were going, they all headed down the wrong path, off flour, leaving the hare, and a few other wondering what happened to the pack.  It gave the walkers time to close the growing KM gap, and catch up to the majority of the runners.  Walkers and runners made it to the BC at  Marigold Park at almost the same time.  Gispert was toasted and Stoolie down-downed for his great success, and for ending with a muddy bottom following a pride bruising soft landing on his own muddy trail.

The annual Robbie Burns Day run.  Lots of tartan patterned material was worn.   It was such a nice day, so much so that I was wondering why I was going on vacation to Puerto Vallarta the next day!  Lots of people showed up, including a number of backsliders and even a virgin or two.  Boomerang contributed the reading of a Burns poem and there was a toes of scotch to the poet.  The trail wandered about south Oak Bay, with a BC in Anderson Park.  Religion and On-afters was at Kitty Licker's, and miraculously worked with advertised just to be haggis, neeps, and tatties (prompting one hash to suggest it might end up being a burns supper with take-out pizza), but an number of insightful hasher treated it as 'pot luck', and brought a variety of other foods to fill out the dinner.  Jack Off prepared the haggis (with just the right amount), tatties, and neeps.  It was all very good.

A sunny, relatively mild day, with more walkers than runners, exploring above the golf courses in north Cordova Bay.  We had visitors from Vancouver, Fruit Loops and Space Case.  Last time they were over they set run 570. Loops was sporting her new 'loop holes' polka dotted wind breaker, and as she doesn't drink beer her down-downs went over her hair ('good for the hair', she says).  Double hump cleverly had the runners' and walkers' trails meet at certain points, though the runner were slower than expected.  At a Hash Halt with a view of the glorious Mount Baker, the impatient walkers gave up waiting for the runners and carried on, having to be called back for a treat of black Sambuca.  Stroke Alone got the Wankers Cup, for no apparent reason, but it was full of tasty beer, so at times alleged naughtiness has its rewards. 

Blue Balls said it was sooo cold, he had thought he would run in his swimming shorts so that, at the end of the run, he could hit the hot tub first. That was his plan.   By the time the initial circle was done, he made a beeline for his car for some running pants; I guess things were getting blue down there.  Much of the snow had sublimated from the cold, dry, northerly wind, so where it hadn't the hares made trail with some small pieces of paper - like they do in the tropics.  Despite the inclemency of the weather, a good crowd turned up.  Many more walkers than runners,  The runner headed down towards the beach, then up past the gravel pit to catch the cruel chill wind on the hilltop, while the walkers took their time in the shelter of the woods. By the time the runner found the BC, the walkers were already into the cooler (not that they needed to be any cooler).  The BC was near the Penis Tree on grounds of Royal Road University (you have to look for it).  Deep Shit swept for the runners, while Muck had the walkers, and both had treats on trail, and party hats, and party horns to make new year's day a whole lot less peaceful.   Religion was in the warmth of Muck Suckers garage, which was well heated and came with a supplie of Costco-sized bags of chips.  Penetration, Dolly Boy, Just Julina, and Itchy Buns came late to circle. I missed on-afters (had another event), but think there was a lot of different warm dishes with beans.  I suspect Blue Ball finally made it into the hot tub.