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Hump day hashes are next to non-existent with this kennel, however today was a holiday and the first day of the year! On a day where most people are either nursing a bad hangover or lazing in the final days of a holiday break, 31 hashers and 3 canines gathered at
Mucksucker and Cardinal
Sin's place for the annual New Years hash n' splhash.
Being on a non-typical hash day meant gave the opportunity for some of our rarer hashers to make this event: Entrepreneur
Muzzled Meat and her partner F--king Franklin were enjoying some well deserved time off from their enterprise and brought along canines
Just Georgia and the newest addition to their family, 12 week old
Just Mervin. The scribe's own partner, Wet Taco, was there to make a rare daytime appearance at the Victoria Hash Harriers.
Colloquially, this day is known as the Hang Over Hash, but judging from the spirits (and the lack of the smell of said spirits from people's breaths), it seemed like those present were probably had a sensible night, and those who spent their eve in reckless abandon were wallowing in their sorry state elsewhere. Sensible night or not a few hasher dressed for the occasion in party duds:
Deep Shit and Richard Turd (who was even sporting dress slacks!);
Knob Goblin wore strings colourful beads and festive eyeliner;
Sir My Cocks A' Fallen
donned his most loudest hat.
With the current RA unavailable, Blue Balls steps up to the plate to reprise in his old role. The rabble was introduced to the sole virgin present today,
Just Dakota, who was brought in by
Richard the Turd and his son Just
Paul. Though in their teen aged years, Just Paul and
Just Dakota were not the youngest members present as 18 month old In Utero was there, happily harnessed to
Full Service. After the introductions, hares
Mucksucker and Cardinal Sin explained to the rabble today's run. An 11th hour change and injury resulted in today's run no longer being an A to B and the hare himself was going to sweep via bike.
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The runners found themselves touring Esquimalt Lagoon by road. Thankfully the run would not remain on the unforgiving pavement as the asphalt gave way to paths carpeted with pine needles. There was a proper walking route that didn't involve DFLing the runners! Seven hashers and 2 canines opted to enjoy a relaxing stroll on the majestic grounds of
Royal Roads and more importantly out of the rain.
Pink Muffy and Full Service led the group at full speed while Ice Breaker lingered as the rearguard. The run was long enough that the walkers took the opportunity to do a few photo stops and an unplanned detour.
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Seamlessly, the two groups converged at the same moment at the BC. There was no secret that the BC would be at
Royal
Roads, near the famous phallus. Sadly for harriettes everywhere, this stiff one would be a softwood of the genus pinus (whose pronunciation ironically rhymes with venus). The party was almost spoiled by the sudden appearance of campus security; lucky for the hashers, the guard seemed more interested in staying dry and warm than pursuing a group of suspicious looking runners. Not wanting to push our luck, the rabble moved the BC past the gate and out of eyeshot from prying eyes. In additional to the usual offerings of beer and cider,
Cardinal Sin pulled out schnapps for a minty tipple.
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The afternoon drizzle did not deter most of the hashers from entering the cold waters of the
Juan the Fuca
Strait. Most made the symbolic dip then ran back to the comfort of the awaiting propane heater; a few intrepid hashers,
Master Baited, Boomerang,
Happy Sperm and Hoop-along
Chastity showed their grit and some went even far as completely immersed themselves or going for a proper swim.
Back at Mucksucker's abode, the now soggy hashers piled into the hot tub. It was a surprise to see that there was even any water left in the vessel after all the bodies had crammed into any available space. As the rabble quieted down, the RA gathered the non-bathers close to the tub as religion was conducted. Noteworthy were the following charges:
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- Long time second generation hasher Just
Paul's accident with a balloon led to his naming to
Rubber Buster; father Richard the Turd gladly stepped in as designate to drink on
Rubber Buster's behalf;
- Newly named Master Baited was charged for complaining about the trail - a tall order coming from a fella who's only been hashing 4 times;
- Bad to the Bone for boking then bragging
about said boke;
- Latecomer Hot Nuts, for not only missing the
run segment, but for missing religion in order to cook his dish.
Happy
Sperm and Frogger serenaded him with a song
about the backdoor to the "kitchen";
- Hoopalong Chastity was named Wanker of the
Week for taking the identity of another hasher, Water Nympho, as she
relished her prolonged soak in the big drink.
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Scribed by
~ SBC
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